Imagine you are sitting at a family lunch where everyone is eating broth –using a spoon, of course, as ‘proper’ and as basic common sense dictates. But you? Well, you take out a wooden spoon… and start eating with it! Everyone stares in shock. Your grandma slowly puts down her spoon, your dad’s eyebrows go up and someone whispers:

– This is… this is not normal.

You, on the other hand, go ahead and ask with a smile:
– But why? A wooden spoon is a tool, isn’t it?

Everyone goes silent. Your grandmother’s eyes widen, your mother drops her cutlery, and someone says:
– That’s… that’s not how you do it.

But you smile in reply:
– Who says a wooden spoon can’t be a cutlery?

And while you are slowly, calmly slurping your soup with this wooden spoon, the rest of the family starts to wonder… Really, who said that? What if he’s right? What if they’ ve been doing it wrong for years?! 🤯What if you’re the one who’s freed from the bondage of convention?

Sure, you might be bringing enlightenment to some of your family with this wooden spoon revolution… but let’s face it, there’s a better chance they’ll just think you’re stupid. Non-conformism is not always about changing the world – sometimes it’s just about daring to be yourself against the expectations of others.

What does it mean to be a nonconformist?

As you can guess from the situation, a nonconformist is someone who does not follow established habits, behaviour or questions the norms and chooses his own way. It is a way of living and thinking in which the individual deliberately deviates from societal norms and expectations. It can manifest itself in art, musical taste or fashion, but also in all aspects of life, such as career, education or personal relationships.

Non-conformity has always existed throughout history, when individuals or groups have resisted the prevailing traditions. Think of 17th century England, where Protestants who refused to follow the Church of England were called ‘nonconformists’. Or there are the artists, thinkers and activists who often question the norm. Scientists like Galileo, Darwin and Einstein who challenged accepted ideas that led to breakthroughs.

When is it good to be a nonconformist?

When the status quo really is stupid.
There are a lot of social customs that we follow out of habit, but when you think about it, they don’t make any sense. For example, why can’t you wear pyjamas to the shop? Yes, I know, it’s not proper. But why not? (Okay, please don’t think of a pair of ripped, shabby pyjamas, but a brand new pair.) And why do people look at me funny when I have breakfast in the afternoon? Someone wondered why I drink coffee before a meal and not after, because they usually do. Hm?

When it improves the quality of your own life.
If you always live up to other people’s expectations, it’s a bit like having other people make your Netflix selection: it’ll be full of films that are theoretically good, but you don’t really want to see any of them. Perhaps the problem is that one never dares to deviate from the norm – it is easy to lose one’s own individuality and end up becoming completely disinterested in one’s own life. So perhaps being a non-conformist is not all bad after all. They can encourage progress and innovation, but they also have to face resistance. Resistance is of course very scary, but look…

When you want to make a difference.
… if no one had ever questioned things, we’d still believe that the Earth is flat, women can’t drive cars and the internet is only for cat GIFs. Real change always comes from those who dare to do something different.

The hidden pitfalls of nonconformism

That said, let’s look at the other side of the scale. Because it is also worth noting that not everything is necessarily practical. Say, have you ever tried to walk into a bank without shoes because you think footwear is a social expectation and Mother Earth actually imparts her wisdom through bare feet? Actually, I don’t know how spiritual security guards are, or if they even notice bare feet, but it’s a fascinating question, isn’t it?

Let’s face it, not all conventions are stupid. Some standards exist for a reason. For example, stopping at a red light is not just an arbitrary choice people make, but a handy little invention to support the concept of “don’t die needlessly”.

But what’s even worse is that people have an amazing love of the familiar. If you start spooning soup with a wooden spoon at a group lunch, people will take note. If you’re always following your own lead, after a while you’ll be balancing on the borderline of “that’s weird” and “hmm, maybe he’s right”. And the former usually wins out first. You’ll be a real weirdo who may not be liked by many.

How to be a nonconformist?

Self-awareness and self-acceptance

The first step towards non-conformism is self-awareness and self-acceptance. You need to know who you are and what you want out of life, regardless of what your environment expects of you. But it’s not always that easy. For example: you may have always hated coffee, but because everyone drinks it in the morning, you pushed it – until one day you realise that you’d rather have a nice matcha or a cold glass of water instead. It’s little realisations like these that can trigger a bigger change.

Research and learning

It’s important to be broad-minded and to keep learning. Read different opinions, learn about new cultures and learn from those who have already taken the first steps towards nonconformism. Knowledge gives you the strength to stick to your own opinions.

Courage and perseverance

Nonconformism is not always an easy path. It takes courage and perseverance to face critics and opposition, especially in this country full of sofa critics. You have to believe in yourself and that what you are doing is right and true.

Is it good to be a nonconformist?

Benefits

Non-conformists often find new and creative solutions to problems because they don’t stick to the same old ways. This capacity for innovation can be a great advantage in the workplace and in everyday life.

People who live by their values and beliefs are often happier and more content. This inner harmony can also have a positive impact on mental health.

Last but not least, non-conformists can be role models for others, encouraging them to follow their own path and not be afraid to deviate from social norms.

Disadvantages

Non-conformists can often face social pressure and criticism, which can be emotionally draining. And because of their different views and lifestyles, they can sometimes become isolated and find it difficult to connect.

So what now?

Nonconformism is undoubtedly a double-edged sword. It can be liberating, innovative and exciting, but if you do it just for the sake of rebellion, you can easily become a laughing stock. The next time you feel like eating broth with a wooden spoon, ask yourself, “Am I doing this because it’s better, or because I want to be different?” If it’s the former, go for it! If it’s the latter, you’re probably just hungry and you’d be better off just eating. If your goal is to make the world a better place by asking questions, finding new solutions and not being afraid to go with the flow, then nonconformism can be a superpower. The journey is not easy, but there are many benefits if you are willing to face the challenges. Self-awareness, learning and perseverance are key to successfully breaking away from societal norms and living your own authentic life. Ultimately, nonconformism can help you to be happier, more creative and more inspiring to yourself and others.